9.

today is a really hard day. it's my brother's 21st birthday but he isn't here with us to celebrate. i've felt seriously down about it all day so i'm just spending the time at home now with my parents. i've been astounded by the incredible amount of support we've gotten today, which i am endlessly thankful for. it's been a very difficult time for us but it makes it a little bit easier knowing there are a lot of people who care. there's not much i can really say without getting massively emotional again, and that isn't what anyone would want. mostly, i want to thank everyone who has been so supportive and caring today, and let them know that it will always be appreciated. i'm going to include a poem below by W. H. Auden, my favourite poet. i think his words will be better than mine at the moment anyway. the poem's called stop all the clocks. it's one of my favourite poems, if not my favourite. thank you to everyone. you really have no idea how much your love has helped today, even though it has made me cry on multiple occasions. just remember; nothing can tear us apart.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

8.

today i'm not feeling too great. i'm having a day of blankets and criminal minds. my mouth feels all waxy and strange as well, and i'm not really sure why that is.
tomorrow would have been my brother's 21st, so that's going to be a pretty hard day to go through. i'm really not looking forward to it.
a week tomorrow i go to manchester.
i'm fairly self-pitying and tired today so i'm going to leave this pretty short.

7.

so yeah. gave blood and it was great. i've been sat for the last few hours looking at stuff for jewellery design and got up to 12,000 on my new book. all's well so far. really looking forward to summer now, can't wait to see my pals again

6.

i'm going to give blood in an hour. i am SO EXCITED it doesn't cover it. i love the feeling of knowing i'm doing something good. just re-done my nails and uploaded my photos to the other blog. my physio starts next wednesday... 5 weeks and 6 days after my injury. it's supposed to be healed in 6 weeks. the irony is so sickening it's unreal. i've got nail polish all over my arms. i'm so messy. i haven't really got much. i'm working on a new book, which i'm seriously psyched about. i'm just over 10,000 words in, so i'm about an eighth of the way through. i never realised what a weird word 'eighth' was until i spelt it then. seriously strange.

5.

ahhh i can't really be bothered. feel so tired it's unreal. looking forward to it being summer so i don't have to work anymore, really can't be dealing with more projects at the minute, these two are slowly eating my soul. there's not really much more i can add to that apart from the face i literally feel like i want to crawl under a rock and sleep for a week. still waiting on an email back. i really don't like waiting for things, i'm so impatient

I just posted this from my phone. Modern day technology is genius.

4.

My physio sheet came through today so I have to get that filled in and taken back to the hospital. Touch wood, I appear to be able to walk again normally. I swear sometimes I'm superhuman.

We've decided

we want to be a MTV show

where we go to Japan

so

we're all going to write letters to MTV. there's already a crew of eight of us. it's great.

it's really sunny today.

happy march everyone!