9.

today is a really hard day. it's my brother's 21st birthday but he isn't here with us to celebrate. i've felt seriously down about it all day so i'm just spending the time at home now with my parents. i've been astounded by the incredible amount of support we've gotten today, which i am endlessly thankful for. it's been a very difficult time for us but it makes it a little bit easier knowing there are a lot of people who care. there's not much i can really say without getting massively emotional again, and that isn't what anyone would want. mostly, i want to thank everyone who has been so supportive and caring today, and let them know that it will always be appreciated. i'm going to include a poem below by W. H. Auden, my favourite poet. i think his words will be better than mine at the moment anyway. the poem's called stop all the clocks. it's one of my favourite poems, if not my favourite. thank you to everyone. you really have no idea how much your love has helped today, even though it has made me cry on multiple occasions. just remember; nothing can tear us apart.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.