12.

today i'm not sure i could be more pissed off. got my marks back for a uni assignment i put my absolute everything into and.... mediocre grade. the reason behind it? because we didn't include things that nobody else on my course has heard of either. the funniest part of it all? we might get put down for not including these mystical points, but in any other assignment in my entire university career so far, if you go even slightly off topic to elaborate a point, you get downgraded for 'waffling' and 'losing focus'. SO WHICH DO YOU WANT IT TO BE??????

i can't honestly believe it. i'm so pissed. then i decide fuck this, i'm contesting it. so far everyone i've spoken to has been like 'say what! you only got THAT!?' and we've been like yeah, that's it. so everyone else has that reaction, we get told we'll get a 'good mark' and with this 'good mark' goes another chance of me getting a higher grade overall and going to a completely new university where corruption maybe won't be as high as it is. i'm so fucking done with my lecturers i cant put it into words. you get no recognition for your work unless you go and kiss arse. i dont do that kind of shit for anyone and im sure as hell not going to do it to get a grade i fucking well deserve. if this had been any other assignment, i'd have been made up with the grade. but for this one? no. it's AT LEAST 10 points below what we should have got. but the email ive got this morning has basically reinstated 'no, we're right, you're wrong'.

advice to anyone?

don't bother with university. you can and will be disappointed and it's full of pricks that seem to enjoy ripping you down at every chance they get. big FUCK YOU to the shitty university i'm at now. not worth it's fucking salt. absolutely livid still.

11.

i've officially finished my second year at uni apart from one exam that i'll do in about five weeks time. other than that, i'm lounging around doing my russian lessons, revising and otherwise reading crime books. i had to elect my modules for next year, so i've chosen two crime modules and an independent. in my independent i've requested biology, so i think it's all going ahead which is pretty good times. i've also finally hit 53,000 words in my new book! i'm so psyched up for it now, it's full speed ahead, then time to edit it out and THEN!! publisher time hopefully! genuinely cannot wait for it all to fall into place. i've had to stop writing a few times though because my hands have gotten sore. on friday i literally sat for seven hours straight, just sitting typing away. to be fair, i can't really complain because i did write 15,000 words. even though i woke up the next morning and both of my hands were in agony. i touch-type, which is why i can type so fast. i read quickly too, which helps a surprising amount.

i'm in a bit of a funny mood today. i'm fairly tired because i'm still in the habit of getting up to get ready for uni even though i don't have to. all of my assignments are nearly finished now and then it's just summer. summer summer summer. i can't wait to see all my pals again.

today i've also been inspired by recent events to write a list of things i truly do fucking hate when it comes to the average culinary experience. i'm british, but i don't actually enjoy any stereotypical british food. i find it all overly processed, fatty and disappointing overall. plus, it's rare i drink hot drinks so cups of tea are off the market. below is a list of my top ten most hated foods/meals.

1. sunday dinner/ roast lunch/ whatever you want to call it
   i genuinely cant put my hate into words. it's one of the vilest meals i could ever possibly imagine. its messy in all the wrong ways and makes you feel sick and lethargic afterwards. i dont know how anybody can feel at all happy about ingesting something like this. it gets the number one spot on my most hated.
2. fruit cake
3. anything involving oranges
4. lamb. i don't even want to go into all the ethics behind this. i hate the taste, i hate the idea, i hate whoever made it so popular to kill baby animals.
5. hot cross buns/ any bread with fruit in it. just. fuck. off.
6. thyme, rosemary and all their bullshit pals.
7. caramel. sticky, vile nightmare.
8. white chocolate.
9. anything involving limes.
10. gumbo. i'd never had it until i went to canada. the bowl i had contained more cartilage than chicken meat, so cooked properly it'd maybe be nice, i don't know.

10.

so, monday night was my first night away from home ever. it was a really strange experience but i had a really great time. the gig was fantastic, the only problem was that i couldn't move around much and my knee buckled at the end of the night so walking around manchester was a real problem. i was surprised by how rude a lot of the people were though. i know the rules of society change at a gig, but me and my friends weren't stood right at the front (we were near one of the stairways so we were involved, but out of the way) and a lot of people would just shove you for absolutely no reason. i was honestly ready to start smashing skulls because there was no need in it. we weren't stood tightly packed together so anyone could have easily walked through. out of the thirty or so people that shoved me that night, only one said excuse me. if people can't even say excuse me what the hell is the world coming to? i wasn't stood being unmoved because i'm boring. it was more a case of knowing jumping around could cause my joint to rip in half. something like that anyhow. but the whole experience was a very different one. when we'd been in newcastle or anywhere else really, people you didn't even know would help you up if you fell in a mosh pit, or would gently try to get passed you. i guess manchester didn't get that memo because not only did i have a really, very obese girl stand on my foot (how it hasn't bruised, i don't know) multiple times, a few of my friends got hit by people with cameras. the show was full of strobe lighting. how the hell do you expect to get a good photo of STROBE LIGHTING? it was a very, very different experience to normal, friendly gigs. i think in all honesty in future i'd look at going somewhere else and use manchester as a final resort. i like the city, i genuinely do, but out of the ten or so people we spoke to, only two of them were actually nice. both of them called me 'darling' a concerning amount, which amused my friends to no end, but other than that. the receptionist at the hotel glared at us every time we went passed. i asked for extra towels. in a room for two people, we had one human sized towel and one midget of a towel. so the receptionist handed me SIX towels. when i asked how long it'd take to get to the apollo from where we were, without looking at me and without any amount of friendliness, he just snapped '5 minutes in a taxi'. no offer of getting us one or giving us a phone number. i'm not a princess or anything but my accent especially is extremely broad and very obviously northern. well more 'northern' than manchester. why the hell would any of us know any taxis? me and jon ended up finding one outside because somebody had pulled up to pick someone else from the hotel up. the taxi driver was amazing. the security guards at the gig were power crazed arseholes who seemed to think nothing of man-handling people for no actual reason. they kept pushing people away from the stairs and back into the crowd without saying a word. yeah i get that it's your job but there's no need to be rude about it. then after the gig we ended up in the only takeaway that seemed open in the entirety of manchester (though, we're talking at about 11pm here). lauren got a chicken pizza which has mentally scarred all of us a little bit. the chicken was all dark meat, but the outside of it was this really bright, vivid red colour. a lot like chinese seasoning. and the pizza was also covered in sweetcorn. we left it in the hotel, abandoned and half eaten. to be fair, the hotel rooms were a complete mess when we left. sean's room was covered in a deck of cards, abandoned takeaway boxes, forks in the bath, soap on the tv and all sorts of other, worse criminal damage. then jon's was left with pizza boxes on the floor, a half eaten kitkat and bedding all stuffed under the bed and everything. mine and lauren's was fine apart from the teacup filled with make-up wipes, the flooded bathroom (not our fault their shower flooded when we used it) and a spilled cup of tea on the floor (this is what happens when you trip while putting your shoes on and knock the little desk with the cuppa on it).
other than that i pretty much updated everything as i went along in a sort of running commentary on my twitter. peace and cheesecake.

9.

today is a really hard day. it's my brother's 21st birthday but he isn't here with us to celebrate. i've felt seriously down about it all day so i'm just spending the time at home now with my parents. i've been astounded by the incredible amount of support we've gotten today, which i am endlessly thankful for. it's been a very difficult time for us but it makes it a little bit easier knowing there are a lot of people who care. there's not much i can really say without getting massively emotional again, and that isn't what anyone would want. mostly, i want to thank everyone who has been so supportive and caring today, and let them know that it will always be appreciated. i'm going to include a poem below by W. H. Auden, my favourite poet. i think his words will be better than mine at the moment anyway. the poem's called stop all the clocks. it's one of my favourite poems, if not my favourite. thank you to everyone. you really have no idea how much your love has helped today, even though it has made me cry on multiple occasions. just remember; nothing can tear us apart.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

8.

today i'm not feeling too great. i'm having a day of blankets and criminal minds. my mouth feels all waxy and strange as well, and i'm not really sure why that is.
tomorrow would have been my brother's 21st, so that's going to be a pretty hard day to go through. i'm really not looking forward to it.
a week tomorrow i go to manchester.
i'm fairly self-pitying and tired today so i'm going to leave this pretty short.

7.

so yeah. gave blood and it was great. i've been sat for the last few hours looking at stuff for jewellery design and got up to 12,000 on my new book. all's well so far. really looking forward to summer now, can't wait to see my pals again

6.

i'm going to give blood in an hour. i am SO EXCITED it doesn't cover it. i love the feeling of knowing i'm doing something good. just re-done my nails and uploaded my photos to the other blog. my physio starts next wednesday... 5 weeks and 6 days after my injury. it's supposed to be healed in 6 weeks. the irony is so sickening it's unreal. i've got nail polish all over my arms. i'm so messy. i haven't really got much. i'm working on a new book, which i'm seriously psyched about. i'm just over 10,000 words in, so i'm about an eighth of the way through. i never realised what a weird word 'eighth' was until i spelt it then. seriously strange.

5.

ahhh i can't really be bothered. feel so tired it's unreal. looking forward to it being summer so i don't have to work anymore, really can't be dealing with more projects at the minute, these two are slowly eating my soul. there's not really much more i can add to that apart from the face i literally feel like i want to crawl under a rock and sleep for a week. still waiting on an email back. i really don't like waiting for things, i'm so impatient

I just posted this from my phone. Modern day technology is genius.

4.

My physio sheet came through today so I have to get that filled in and taken back to the hospital. Touch wood, I appear to be able to walk again normally. I swear sometimes I'm superhuman.

We've decided

we want to be a MTV show

where we go to Japan

so

we're all going to write letters to MTV. there's already a crew of eight of us. it's great.

it's really sunny today.

happy march everyone!

3.

all i've done today is listen to james blunt, do my russian lesson, a wee bit of uni work and otherwise sloth. that's not even worth a blog entry.

page 2.

I've been recommended for physio therapy, so my appointment card will hopefully come through sometime this week so I can get on with it. I'm going to see Enter Shikari again on March 19th, then You Me At Six on March 25th, so it's a really busy week considering. Enter Shikari's in Manchester, but I'm not driving anymore, Sean is. Aaron's driving us for You Me At Six. This injury seriously has ruined my social life haha. Need to crack on with the last few bits of work for uni tomorrow, Thursday and Friday and then it's time to hopefully get my poster printed on Saturday, submit it on Monday and then embark on my last three weeks of my second year! I can't believe this time next year I'll be looking at graduating. It feels like no time's gone by at all. Well, I suppose it hasn't really. It's only about five months of the year, so it's not surprising that it goes by quickly.

Just got in from seeing the doctor. I've been referred to physio, I just have to drop the form down at the hospital tonight then they send me a list of appointments and hopefully, that'll be the last of it. My GiveBlood form arrived as well, so I have to remember to fill it out and take it with me this time which is a bit odd haha. It's only my second time but I'm really excited about doing it. It's a fantastic cause, even if you do feel a little bit drained after doing it. Drained, geddit? Alright, I guess I'm not that funny. I'm going to have to finish up my uni work anyway and crack on with my Russian for the day. There's no fun in a week off if you're working. No fun at all.

jose gonzalez- heartbeats

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4_4abCWw-w

one of the best songs ever.

page 1.

So. I've decided I'll have more than one blog because I genuinely do enjoy blogging. This one isn't anything to do with my nails blog- the only thing that links them is because they're both by me. This one's going to be about a lot more than just nails and fashion and all that jazz. I have a tumblr account but lately I haven't really liked using it. I just find it to be full of the same stuff day after day after day so in all honesty I'm sort of wondering about just deleting it and using this one instead. I might actually, but I won't decide on that just now.

A few things about me then.

I'm doing a degree in psychology.

I'm allergic to cranberries, face paint and pine trees so christmas is a grim time.

I read ridiculously fast.

By the end of this year I'll speak five languages fluently.

My favourite book in the whole wide world is To Kill A Mockingbird. I would love to be able to write something as amazing as that.

I touch-type.

I'm off uni for a week this week because of alternative curriculum week where all of our lectures are basically on policing. I'm not really one for policing so I'm not going, I'm using the week to work on my other projects instead. In about eight minutes I'm going to set off to go to the doctors to see what the hell is going on with my busted knee.

About four weeks ago I ripped the cartilage in my knee. I heal so fast it's insane. I go from having a cut to nothing in a matter of days, it's pretty good but sometimes can be a bit misleading. I'd have been about three weeks into an apparent six weeks healing time, was wandering about totally fine and even driving again... and then one night my knee locked the way it had three weeks before and that was it. For this last week I've been tottering about and dragging my leg behind me when I walk like some deranged zombie from 28 Weeks Later. But I'm going to find out what's going on. When I'd went to the hospital to begin with, the doctor basically did nothing. She tested my ligaments then shrugged the rest off as if it wasn't important. Then I find out from other people that no, I might need surgery and yes, it is important. And they wonder why the NHS get slated all too regularly.
I'm going to drop in a few CVs around town as well. I'm so unemployed it's painful.